Burnout is real.

You feel tired more than usual. Your capacity to engage socially has diminished.

Or perhaps your ability to juggle tasks and transition from one thing to the next isn’t what it used to be.

Snapping at your spouse or struggling to be patient with your kids?

Any of these can signal the symptoms of burnout. If you’re starting to see tiny red flags, this is not the time to ignore them and push through, like so many of us do. Instead, it’s time to recognize what your body’s responses are trying to tell you.

(FYI, did you know that even if your burnout is emotional or mental in nature, your body is actually the first line of communication? You’ll start to see physical manifestations of burnout before the others.)

Some physical cues you are nearing your limits might be:

  • You find yourself wishing you could escape to a 7-night getaway alone.
  • You often feel like you’re in a too-tight pair of jeans. (And it’s not due to ingesting too much ice cream.)
  • Your sleep has been fitful, not restful.
  • Your muscles feel sluggish, and you don’t have a cold.
  • You keep yawning even when you’ve had several nights of good sleep, and you’re drinking plenty of water.

Whether it’s the time of year, your current circumstances, school or parenting issues, or difficulties at work, burnout is real, and we want to help you recognize the signs and take care of yourself before you combust entirely.

It’s important to recognize the precursors of burnout (irritability, exhaustion, low motivation, or extreme control tendencies) because they impact everyone—not just you.

What Is Burnout?

Burnout, as defined in a 2021 webinar by the Children’s Hospital of Orange County, can be defined in various ways. Some of these include “a state of emotional, physical and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress,” “a form of exhaustion caused by constantly feeling swamped,” or “the state of mind that comes with long-term, unresolved stress that can negatively affect your work and life.”

Let’s break apart these symptoms.

First, we’ve already discussed physical warning signs, including sluggishness, sleeplessness, and a desire to escape. But we can also see warning signs from a mental or emotional perspective; these might include a lack of enjoyment in hobbies that used to fulfill us or a tendency toward general irritability, even when circumstances don’t merit it. Mentally, you may feel foggy or struggle to remember important details. These are all warning signs that you have hit your limit.

In one blog by Psychology Today, a parent shared their water bottle test; basically, a mother knew she’d hit her limit when getting the long sponge to clean a child’s water bottle felt like too much.

Second, let’s talk about attentiveness.

It’s easy to pay attention to everyone’s needs but yours when you’re a parent. You might be in the thick of homeschooling with your young children or sending your child to a traditional school, but it feels like there are so many details to keep track of, and you feel like you need to do more.

Paying attention to your attitude may be a great place to begin.

  • Do you feel dread when your day involves spending time with people, even people you love and who love you?
  • Are you struggling to want to celebrate milestones with your family or friends?
  • Has your mental load made you feel like you are walking through concrete many days of the week?

If these sound familiar, we’d like to give you hope. While many articles on burnout will talk about taking a bubble bath or getting a manicure, we know burnout runs deeper — so your solutions should, too.

Solving Burnout Isn’t Easy But Can Be Done

While your symptoms of burnout may feel too heavy to solve, they aren’t. In fact, while it isn’t easy, the solution may be within. Here are some ways to get closer to who you are and who you’d like to continue to become.

1. Sit with a journal for 5 minutes each night. Five minutes isn’t a magic window of time, so take more if you need it. But starting with just five minutes helps you embrace a new habit that doesn’t feel like it’s “too much” at a time when everyone else needs you.

What should you write in your journal? Whether you keep the journal digitally or on paper, spend some time (one to two minutes) thinking about what is bothering you. While many will say to keep a gratitude journal, that’s not the place to begin. Writing about what matters — and what you feel may be hindering you — is crucial to getting to a deeper layer.

This is an important step, and it can even be done through video or audio journaling if that feels easier. Talk about why you cried that day or how something made you feel angry and what your temptations were because of it. Be honest, and remember, this journal isn’t for anyone but you. So, don’t hold back.

2. Silence is golden.

Once you’ve sat with a journal and shared how you’re really doing, spend a few minutes in silence. This isn’t just to gain a sense of calm or an illusion of peace. One medical practice calls these few minutes of silence “sacred pauses.” We simply aren’t wired to think well, make decisions or reflect on why we’re feeling a certain way if we don’t take time to pause.

3. Reflection is a lifestyle.

Learning to reflect as a lifestyle is a sure way to keep burnout at bay. Even if you go through a trying year or a set of circumstances that derail your joy, once you’ve adopted the practice of reflection, you are much more likely to recognize how you feel and get to the bottom of those feelings before burnout appears on the horizon. It may take some time to build this important tool into your everyday life, but one idea is to do a Sunday night reflection time where you sit around the dinner table and ask two simple questions: What was hard this week? What was good?

In this way, you’re inviting your children and spouse into a practice of reflection, too.

4. Make necessary changes.

When you evaluate what is bothering you and you’ve reflected over time, you can decide if any long-term changes need to be applied. Suppose you recognize that every Sunday night stresses you out. In that case, you might notice that you’re regularly anxious because it means recycling a Monday morning rush again to get your children out of bed, onto the school bus, and start the rhythm of school as usual.

If this rhythm seems to be causing stress for the entire family, look at your routines. Are there small changes you can make on Saturday (before Sunday night rolls around) to make Monday mornings less chaotic?

Does your 8-year-old need to learn how to take on a new skill so that you can let go and let him learn how to do something that would alleviate a fraction of chaos on Mondays? It might be that she’s been relying on you to lay out her clothes for her. Have her plan outfits for the week on Sundays after church.

Or it could be that your 15-year-old waits until the last minute to tell you about school deadlines and homework. Setting a phone alarm for Friday evenings to discuss weekend homework may help you avoid Last-Minute Syndrome.

Some families find that the pace of life they’re keeping — between school, sports and family commitments — just isn’t working for them in the current season. It might even be time to evaluate if your method of education is still the best choice. You may want to try an alternative educational model, such as a hybrid school with a tutor or a parent educator to help guide your child on at-home days. One of Learnwell’s core values is intentional margin, which allows families to decide what matters to them and make time for it because their educational model allows it.

5. Re-reflect.

Whether you make a small change or a big one, it’s wise to spend additional time reflecting on those changes. Have they impacted you or your family members in a positive way?

Now is the time to be grateful; when you notice that some intentional changes have restored a measure of peace to you or to your family, stopping to thank God is appropriate and good. Of course, biblical wisdom tells us to “be thankful in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18), but it doesn’t mean you should be thankful for the circumstance, simply in the midst of it.

Our gratitude grows as we practice identifying the good changes we are making and those our kids are making. There’s grace in the midst of trying and falling down and getting back up again, just as there’s grace for when you feel exhausted or out of energy.

6. Recover fun.

A Learnwell parent recently looked around the room and remarked, “I feel like I’m missing something,” when the parent’s spouse said, “Oh, you mean fun?” It was a humorous jab at trying too hard to stay on top of everything.

In adulthood, we tend to juggle all the responsible things, and then when holidays roll around, we add to our proverbial plates. At Easter, we build baskets and buy special attire; at Christmas, we serve at church or get special photos taken for the annual Christmas card. We try to organize a time of service between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and we want to squeeze the most we can out of our vacation time during Spring Break or summer.

All of this is playing like a reel in our minds while we work, help our kids with homework, or manage the emotional weight of family relationships and helping our children navigate their own friendship foibles.

It’s no wonder, then, that we forget to have fun.

Pure fun doesn’t require a large financial investment, a trip or extra paid time off. Building in fun can include watching the sun rise in the morning or taking a walk after dinner, playing Pickleball, putting together a puzzle, reading a good novel or playing a board game with friends and family. Bookmark a few hours one Saturday a month to go thrift shopping or peruse your local library.

Finding time for fun is a valuable way to recover from Life’s curveballs. If you recognize burnout related to parenting in the fast lane or a school-related issue, we’d love to share more about our two school models:

  1. We partner with parents of kindergarteners through seventh graders to help them homeschool with confidence through our Navigator Program. We can even help you set up a co-op of other parents in your area. Contact us today.
  2. We partner with parents of kindergarteners through high schoolers who want to try an alternative to five-day schooling. Through our hybrid school (Learnwell North Georgia), we help students get the best of both worlds: school at home three days a week and on our Alpharetta campus the other two days a week to learn with peers. (Attend a Discover Learnwell information night to learn more.)