“I don’t want to go to college” is a hard sentence to swallow if that’s what you’ve been preparing your children to do for the last four, or even 12, years. How does a parent respond? What are the options for students who are not ready or do not feel the need to go to college?
First, take a deep breath. Today’s career landscape isn’t the same as it was 20 years ago. Second, start with curiosity first. (Don’t jump to assumptions.) Ask your child why they don’t want to go to college and listen. Really listen.
No matter what their reason, we have good news for you. College isn’t the only option. (And many students change their minds when they start attending college tours, learning how they are wired, and recognizing the value of post-secondary study.)
However, there are many reasons your child may not want to attend a four-year college:
- They have a passion for something that isn’t often preceded by a four-year college degree.
- They want to start working right after high school in a field that doesn’t require a college degree.
- They don’t want to take out student loans, and your family would need them to pay for all four years.
- They want to travel before studying.
- They aren’t sure what they would study and want to take a break from school.
4 Values College May Not Teach
If you were raised in a household of college-or-bust attitudes, you may not have considered that there would be other options for your child. But plenty of high school graduates continue their post-graduation success through targeted paths that instill values that a four-year college may not spend much time on.
Those values include hard work, resilience, perseverance, and a teachable spirit.
When your child is passionate about a career that doesn’t follow a prescribed path, they’ll be jumping into the deep end to learn on-the-job courage, how to learn quickly, how to ask relevant questions, and to take feedback graciously and with humility.
“Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.” – Mark Twain
Still, we are not knocking college, and it can open doors that are difficult to get through — if not near impossible — without a four-year degree. Find out which careers aren’t suited for skipping college and which ones are.
Going to College Is Wise If…
Your child wants to have a career that requires more than a bachelor’s degree. Fields of study might include school administration, university professors, surgeons or other doctors who require medical school, and lawyers. The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics cites these careers as also requiring a post-secondary degree:
- Pharmacists
- Nurse Practitioners
- Licensed Mental Health Therapists
- STEM occupations
STEM occupations are projected to grow 8.1% by 2034, and these occupations will require at least a four-year degree:
IT professions such as computer network architects, information security analysts, and computer and information research scientists; engineers (aerospace, electronics, computer hardware, biomedical, and civil, to name a few); and careers that intersect computers with other aspects of training: industrial engineers, health and safety engineers, environmental engineers, nuclear and petroleum engineers, and surveyors.
Other professions requiring advanced education (usually a doctoral degree) include research scientists, audiologists, biostatisticians, academic researchers, and preservationists.
Beyond career development, going to college can broaden a young person’s emotional, social, and spiritual awareness if they choose a college that aligns with their values spiritually, or when they’re faced with situations that encourage them to be their own person (such as living with dormmates, taking a study abroad course, or forming community through clubs and activities). Many college students discover that there’s a layer of attending a four-year university they didn’t plan on: the relationships they built and the camaraderie they have after they’ve graduated.
If your son or daughter isn’t college-bound, these developments can still take place; however, they’ll likely be on a slower timetable and smaller in scale. Think of developing friendships with a co-worker whom you see during the 9-to-5 workweek but rarely outside that environment, as opposed to friendships forged during mutual living experiences, off-campus trips, and Spring Break mission trips.
What If I Don’t Want to Go to College — What Are My Options?
Some students (and their families) feel college isn’t necessary for financial longevity and livelihood. And they may be right. It depends on what kind of learner you are, your career goals, and whether you want your experience in the professionnow or later.
Stories abound of entrepreneurs who shirked college for the workforce. You may have heard of some of them: Jan Koum, the founder of WhatsApp; Daymond John, the founder of clothing brand FUBU; Jessica Alba, actress and founder of eco-family brand The Honest Company; Arlan Hamilton, founder of Backstage Capital; and Lucy Guo, co-founder of Scale AI.
Students should keep in mind, however, that a plan not to attend college is not a guarantee of success. They still need a plan that includes smart timing, learning from others, networking, persistence after failure and a strong personal work ethic. Almost every entrepreneur who has been successful had a blend of these character traits and abilities that drove them toward carving their own path.
In her book, “Raising an Entrepreneur,” Margot Machol Bisnow identified six commonalities among households that raised entrepreneurs.
One of the unique aspects of a Learnwell education is that as they grow into middle and high school, students are encouraged to take ownership of their education, with parents passing the baton by the time students reach ninth grade. The chief reason for this is to allow students to fail while they’re supported and surrounded by caring teachers and loving parents.
The idea is a simple one. Learning how to fail and getting up afterward is likely more important than learning how to succeed in school settings and in life. Grades are not predictors of achievement; character, however, usually is. Learnwell’s inclusion of learning how to learn and recognizing the importance of a Christ-centered faith are foundational to building character, one student at a time.
Another unique aspect of a Learnwell high school education is the emphasis on trying out careers through job shadowing and internships required in ninth through twelfth grade. Students have to start their own microbusiness or service organization by the time they graduate from Learnwell.
Whether or not students attend college, they still have opportunities for hands-on learning in the field and tofocus on their inner lives.
Besides entrepreneurship, other avenues students may want to explore are:
- On-the-job training and certification programs for a career in the hospitality industry
- Public service jobs such as law enforecment officer or firefighter
- In-demand home and commercial maintenance careers in the HVAC, electrician or plumbing fields
- Pipe fitters or welders
- Auto mechanics
- Aircraft mechanics
- Construction managers
- Healthcare technicians such as ultrasonographers, respiratory therapists, home healthcare aides, and emergency medical technicians
- Commercial truck drivers
- Some sales representatives
- Realtors
- Pilots
Many of the previous listed fields do require some type of certification or training program, and several require a certain number of hours of on-the-job training or apprenticeship.
How to Help Your Child Dream, Discover, and Decide
One way parents can support students as they make decisions about their next steps after high school is to avoid making assumptions. Second, ask questions out of curiosity, not judgment. Exploring our own biases, misconceptions or motivations for wanting a specific pathway for our children can expose where we are in need of transformation.
It takes a mature, thoughtful, reflective parent to admit that our desires and plans for our children may not be theirs, and that is okay.
Another way to respond positively to your child’s post-high-school exploration is to encourage them. This is one of the more difficult decisions they’ll face, and emotions run high. They look around and see what their friends are doing, and understandably so, they may have no idea what they want to spend the next five years of their life doing, much less 25.
So, encourage them with these five tips:
- This is not a lifetime decision. People attend college, drop out, go to vocational school, switch careers, and work their way up all the time. Remind them of people you know who tried something and failed, or they changed their mind later. Encourage them to dream, and help them research a few different paths toward it.
- The timelines our culture places on them are not necessarily true. While many students do jump straight into college after high school, there isn’t a “right” or “wrong” way to pursue post-high school education. If they need a break, want to work, or want to travel for a year, no one is timing them.
- They can’t “mess up” your love for them. No matter how much we try to conceal our expectations, our children see them even when we don’t. Encourage them that your love does not depend on you getting your way. Remind them that they’re their own person, and it’s okay to do things differently.
- Their entire future is not at stake. Particularly in the rising generations, there’s a tendency to see the future through an all-or-nothing lens. Reminding your child that a life zigs and zags is crucial to help them counter this tendency. Share a story from your own life where you started out on one path and ended up on another.
- They are not what they do. Ultimately, your child most needs to hear this: They’re loved by a God they can’t see who delights in them just as they are. (Zephaniah 3:17)
Would you like an opportunity to learn more about how Learnwell students explore their options after high school? If you live in the North Georgia area, we invite you to attend our next Discover Learnwell, a parent preview night where you can meet our principal and founder, teachers, and learn how the model differs from other schools. If you have a child in K-7th grade and live outside the North Georgia area, our Navigator Program may be an ideal fit.